The Eagle

Fulfilling expectations? Bah! Overrated!

2007-03-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Participation, participation, participation. Keys to the kingdom.

I wrote this on Saturday morning, prior to heading to the Expo (it'll make sense in a minute):

I got up at 6:00 this morning to go to the Chicagoland Kid's Expo where I'll be manning a booth with 2 magician acquaintances, pitching our shows to families from all over, well, Chicagoland. Last year there were 10,000 attendees, so there is a lot of potential. I spent all this week before and after work (and sometimes during lunch) working on promotional and marketing materials: a party tips newsletter, a raffle entry form, a coupon, a "book it now" discount form, show descriptions, etc. None of the sexy fun stuff, but all the important business stuff. And I enjoyed this"business" work more than I thought I would.

The thing I'm most excited about is the opportunity to sell my magic to 10,000 people for two days. Regardless of the outcome, this is a great opportunity to practice having conversations about people hiring me to perform. Practice, practice, practice. THEN the key will be to take my share of the leads and market intelligently to them. Hot damn. The game is afoot.

That was written on Saturday morning. So how did it go?

Good. Really good, actually. Would say minorly great, but not fantastic. Got a number of leads (fewer than I thought we would), made a good number of contacts (more than I expected) and just got to practice being in the business frame of mind and taking action correlate to that. I felt very competent, confident and up to the task. All those years of thinking, reading and absorbing the business side of show business paid off. Despite the general lack of practice in the "business."

The biggest lesson, though, was that things are generally not going to go as I expect. Especially early on. We had too much material to hand out (which is better than too little), there was less traffic than I thought, the kids were generally younger than I expected, the presentations didn't go as I imagined, and the people I was working with didn't behave the way I thought they should. Pretty much everything, to some extent, didn't follow the plan I outlined in my head.

However, it still went great. Lots was produced and I'm definitely glad I did it.

Save the Earth my ass

2007-03-02T08:50:00.001-08:00

Just got an email from a friend asking me to go the Al Gore’s website and sign a petition that he will present to Congress when he testifies on the climate crisis on March 21st. (The website is: http://algore.com/cards.html)

I went to the website and signed my name, but that’s not my point. The email subject was “The Next Step to Save Our Earth.” While I think we should continue to take action to change the direction we as a society and culture are moving, I think part of the problem with the climate comes from us believing that we can save the Earth.

I don't believe the earth needs us to save it. It'll be fine long after we're gone. Different, but fine. Just as it's always been. However, if we plan to stick around, then something needs to be done. Acting like "stewards" of the Earth rather than guests has gotten us into the problem in the first place.

No fanfare

2007-03-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

Not talking about the long time lapse or making any declarations. Just blogging.

Kicked ass yesterday at the office talent show with this crazy, involved, multi-cast member juggling routine. I may post the video here. I realized after the show that when I have a bad performance, I tend to make it mean I don't have talent, rather than owning my talent and just figuring out what didn't work about the set.

On a related note, last week I worked as a craps dealer at a birthday party for 2 hours. Made some cash, but more importantly, I remembered/relearned that I am in fact entertaining and good at what I do. (Just like what I relearned after the juggling performance yesterday.) Everybody had a great time, learned to play craps and I got a number of compliments. In fact, the hostess liked me so much she tipped me quite well. I sell myself short, but I realized I'm actually not an amateur in the world of entertainment. My skills are actually worth paying for. I just have a hard time remembering that sometimes.

Short and sweet

2006-05-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

My new goal is to post more often, but more briefly.

We'll see how that goes.

So the magic contest went well. Though I neither won, nor rocked, I'm glad I went. It was stage time and I got more clarification on my understanding of what it takes to be a successful stage performer of the calibre I wish to be.

Simplicity, clarity, consistency, and size of persona.

On stage is just different than being close-up. You have to slow down and emphasize what's happening. In addition, I want the audience to have an experience of me as a performer, not as a guy who did a bunch of tricks. (That's where consistency and size of persona come in.)

Lesson learned. Now to incorporate it.

On a separate note, I've been resisting and resenting work related to magic lately. But then I think of how busy Lazlo is and think, "How can I complain? Look at how much he has on his plate and is accomplishing."

That's about as far as I get before I zone out and watch King of the Hill.

Any suggestions?

Short and sweet.

On the upswing

2006-04-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

April is definitely kicking March's ass.

So many things are happening magically, it's a little overwhelming. You've probably already heard, but I'm performing this Sunday in a magic contest at Navy Pier! Of the many, many magicians in the Chicago area, only 12 were admitted to the contest, and I'm one of them! As it turns out, much to my surprise, this event is a hotbed of controversy in the magic community based on how last year's show went, etc.

I don't care, though. I'm in it for the experience. And the possibility of winning a $1000 performing contract at the Pier over the summer. And it will be filmed, which I will eventually get a copy of. Wowsers!

Here's a link to a bit more information: http://www.magicalchicago.com/DoMagicContests.html

In other news, I'm also going to begin appearing at Cousin's Restaurant on Irving Park as their house magician. It's a raw food restaurant and they asked me if I could work raw food into my act. I figure I'll call it: "Raw Magic" It looks like it's going to involve me doing close-up magic, table to table, once a week, then hosting and MC'ing a stage show with guest magicians once a month. Very exciting.

That's the logistics of the update. Then there's the experience of it.

To be continued...

March: Statistically a bad month for magic?

2006-03-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well, apparently I used all of my "magic" vacation, sick and personal days together to take the month of March off. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway. The reality is I just haven't done much, magically speaking.

Oh, I've thought about it. And worried about it. And did some fine, fine planning about it. Sent some emails out about a website. Had some calls with a professional magician friend of mine. Etc. And while I've gotten some stuff done and worked on some other stuff, it hasn't been particularly satisfying or fulfilling.

Here's what I've learned this month:

1) I have a propensity for doing ANYTHING but that which will further what I'm working on:
Sure, researching websites, working on a business plan, and things of that ilk are well and good, but they don't move me forward IMMEDIATELY. And I suffer about it the whole time. (See next entry)

2) I am one neurotic mo' fo':
This whole 2 year thing continues to freak me out; I get upset, I get resigned, I get excited, I get overwhelmed. Repeat.

3) I haven't been enjoying the project, let alone the rest of my life:
If I'm not working on magic, I'm thinking about it. When I am working on magic, it's not enough/the right kind of work/moving fast enough/etc. (See 2) Jamie is neurotic)

Somedays I've been fine, some days I've just wanted to break down and cry. That's where I have been.

Where am I going?

1) I've reduced my current focus to things that I know will make a difference, right now, today, in real type life. They are:
-get a restaurant gig
-get my contact info to agents/bookers/etc.
-work on my magic (develop, rehearse, perform, repeat)
That's it.

2) I'm refusing to panic any more about the 2 year thing. While I am committed to winning the game I am playing, I'm no longer willing to sacrifice my peace of mind for it. Life is too short, I have too great a wife and too fantastic a group of friends to not enjoy it while I'm here.

Sanity has returned.

For now.

Ripple effect

2006-03-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

I have to preface this with the fact that one of the tricks I do in a close-up situation involves a clown nose appearing repeatedly on my face...

I just spoke with someone who came to the show on Saturday. He told me he had a dream last night about a work meeting with a number of people. He said that during the dream several people had clown noses randomly appearing on and vanishing from their faces.

Clearly, my work here is done...

Coming up for air

2006-02-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

So the big day has come and gone. I survived (which I was sure would happen) and it went OK (which is less than I hoped.) Summing up what I learned:

1) To a huge extent, the audience, the venue and the circumstances determine what will work and what won't.

2) It's my job to find a way to make the show a success, regardless of audience, venue or circumstance. Or I shouldn't take the gig.

If it's not obvious, the weakness of the show was that, while what I created was solid and worked out, I wasn't prepared for this particular audience, venue and set of circumstances. (Children, stage, space, food, lateness, organization, etc.)

The 2 points I took from the experience can be dissected into a broad range of minutia, the dissection of which I did and will continue to do. I know that's the nature of the beast; I'll be working and reworking this show, evaluating it after each performance, for a long time to come. But that's not what I want to talk about.

I actually don't want to talk about anything. It's not a writer's block thing. It's an "I don't care thing." What I have to be careful of is believing "I don't care" when I think it. There are thousands of success stories, the main theme of which is not giving up. When that little voice starts its rant, the successful tell it to go screw off. At its most basic, it's a matter of delayed gratification. Doing that which I don't want to do in the moment because I know that "not being in the mood" does NOT equal "I don't want it." Honoring my mood is dangerous.

So there's "I don't care." Then there's the "I don't have what it takes" voice. That one has some serious mileage. That and its brother "I'm not talented enough." It takes something for me to remind myself that even asking the question is a waste of time.

"Do I have what it takes?" What the hell is that? And how would I know anyway? There are a thousand more stories of those who bucked the odds and succeeded in the face of nobody believing they had a chance.

I think one of the reasons I'm a bit resigned and sad is that, at the moment, there's a lull. The stage show was the future I was moving towards, my focus, so to speak. And I don't have one now. I need a goal, something to focus on. I have a number of things I know to do and to work on, but no direction.

Alright. So what am I going to do about that?...

OK, I'm going to create a business plan. By the end of the weekend. And post it somewhere.

There. That's a future to live into. It's not the one I'm in the mood for. But it's necessary. Ironically, when I think about making a business plan, it's exciting. But the actual starting of the business plan is a bit overwhelming and annoying.

I'll let you know when it's done.

By the way, for the record, I stopped getting rid of 5 things a day. However, I've hit almost every day on the poop scooping practice. Lastly, I've not been organizing each day's thoughts regularly.

So, for the record, I'm officially discontinuing the 5 things, continuing the poop scooping and am getting back on the organizing my thoughts wagon.

Alright. I gotta get some sleep.

We have a name, folks

2006-02-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

I have decided on a name for the now 1 year, 11 month plan...

Drum roll, please...

"Dreamtime: Wiz or Get Off the Pot"

I figure combine the best of both worlds, inspiring AND butt kicking.

Thanks for the idea, Swinger. : )

The crucible

2006-02-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

It's miraculous that I haven't done a solid freakout yet, though it's been patiently waiting offstage for a while now. Luckily I knew what to expect, so I haven't thrown in the towel and I'm just moving through it.

What happened was I was thinking about the dress rehearsal I'm doing for the big magic show and I pictured, just for a second, myself performing for all my friends and thought...

"They aren't going to laugh. I'm going to try to be funny and they aren't going to laugh."

It went downhill from there. I started questioning my potential, if I have what it takes, if I should bother, etc. I told myself, "I'll never be as good as Mac King." The whole nine yards. I got very resigned, very quickly.

And then I stopped myself. I stopped letting my mind go in that direction.

Instead, I started thinking about the situation until I came up with an inspiring way to relate to working on my stage show. I realized that, honestly, I am somewhere between amuzing and funny, depending on the day, and the show WILL be entertaning, all the more so, the more work I put into it. I do have the capacity to entertain. Cocky perhaps, but I am reliable for it.

BUT, it won't be as funny as Mac King's show is. It couldn't be. Hell, when Mac started out, you can bet your boopie he wasn't as funny as he is now.

And that's what got me excited about improving my act. I got inspired by the idea of performing over and over again, discovering what works and what doesn't, writing new material and trying it out, improvising and keeping the winning bits and ditching the ones that bomb. That's part of what I'm up to and, frankly, it's one of the most exciting parts.

Related to that, the length of the stage show has been decreased to 20 minutes, which I think is fantastic. Instead of trying to fill a 30 to 40 minute show, I can focus my attention on doing solid material I'm really committed to, have experience with and want to hone.

The crucible begins.

By the way, if you didn't get an invitation to the dress rehearsal, it was not intentional. Let me know you'd like to come and I'll give you the details.

Sinnin' ain't all that bad!

2006-01-26T10:35:00.000-08:00

Regarding the Designated Daily Duties, I didn't even make it through the weekend. I did poop scoop, but didn't organize my daily thoughts or eliminate 5 things each day. What happened was I said to myself, "I don't have to eliminate stuff on weekends; it's the weekend!"

And I listened to myself. Forgetting that not all I say to myself is necessarily worth listening to.

I then let that internal monologue expand to include not writing down my notes (Saying to self, "I'm "off" because it's the weekend.")

Now I've learned the key is to not give up, just because I missed a couple of days. Honestly, I could even change it up a bit. I could change the rules to not include the weekend! They are my rules. But it would only work if I changed them intentionally, not because it's Saturday and I don't feel like it.

But the most important thing is to not stop. I always seem to stop, feeling like the problem is I started without enough gas. (I like that analogy, though, because instead of stopping, I can metaphorically get more gas and keep going. )

The other thing it reminds me of is the origin of the word "sin," which is a roman word for when an archer missed his mark. Just missed the mark, that's all. A friend once said the most important thing to do when you've fallen off the figurative wagon is to take one action that puts you in motion, in the right direction again. On course, towards the target.

So I got back on that wagon on Monday and Tuesday.

Missed yesterday. It was my birthday. My brain said it's a valid exception and in this case, I whole heartedly agree.

For the record, though, I HAVE poop scooped every day. That's the thing I do to stay in the
game. If nothing else, I'll get cat shit out of the box.

Hey, it's something.

To know thyself

2006-01-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

Since saying I would do the following every day...

1) poop scoop
2) eliminate 5 things I don't need
3) organize and schedule the thoughts, ideas and things I need to remember that I jotted down that day

...I have successfully done so.

That's 3 whole days in a row.

What's interesting is that even after 3 days I feel different. Those 3 things are starting to shift from "unimportant" things I can do "later" or "tomorrow" to things that I just do. There is no debate in my head about whether or not I will poop scoop today, not because I suddenly want to, but because I'm just no longer giving myself the option to not do it.

It's similar to what happened when I quit smoking. I went back and forth, trying to quit and then failing, until I realized that the temptation/desire/impulse to have a cigarette was nothing more than a thought in my mind and that I could just ignore it.

So I ignore the thoughts: "The cat box isn't THAT dirty" and "It's no big deal if I just get rid of 4 things today; I'll do 6 tomorrow" and "I don't want to retype my stupid notes. I wanna relax!"

And I know that, in a way, 3 days is easy compared to a month, a year or a lifetime. I've gone 3 days before on a number of things.

But it's getting easier. And I'm beginning to know myself as a person who does what he promises to himself that he will do. Which is very fulfilling and satisfying.

Now, what am I going to add to the list?...

The still as yet unnamed project...

2006-01-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

My stepdad (hereafter named Cohiba) suggested another name for the 2 Year Project:

The Magical Mystery Tour...or M2T for short.

So far we have:

-Wiz or Get Off the Pot
-Do Or Die
-The Magical Mystery Tour...or M2T for short

I'm still taking nominations...

Action items

2006-01-17T10:59:00.000-08:00

Lunas came up with a fantastic idea, which I'm doing TONIGHT. I'm uninstalling all games from my computer, from my Blackjack Simulator down to the old standbys, Free Cell and Mine Sweeper. Because I know that I will latch on to ANYTHING to distract myself. I plan to extend this to my entire workspace, but I'm starting with the games. I gotta start small or I won't do anything.

Which is the 2nd action item: Each night pick one to several items to work on for at least 15 minutes a pop. Not all magic, necessarily. And 15 minutes may not seem like much, but it's just to start movement. Inertia is a bitch, but as my ol' buddy Goethe said:

"Anything you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

and

"When you move, providence moves with you."

Even if you're just moving 15 minutes at a time.

P.S. Lazlo just pointed out physics backs me up on this one:
"An object in motion tends to stay in motion."

The lessons continue...

2006-01-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

I'm loving the 2 year project, if that's not obvious. And because I'm actually taking it on, rather than just talking about it, a lot of issues are coming up for me to deal with. Which is good because this is stuff I have to conquer if I'm actually going to find success. Here's two of the things I've realized in the last few days.

First, I'm working on a project at work with very little structure and direction. I'm constantly distracted and it's hard to stay on task.

Which is exactly what happens with my magic. I go to work on it and think, "I'll just watch a bit of the Daily Show" or "Just a bit of computer blackjack and I'll get to work."

The difference is, I'm interested in my magic, while the world of the 1099 and the IRS doesn't do anything for me. But I'm coming to see, if I don't have a clear picture of what I'm doing, I'm more easily distracted than a retriever in a field of sticks that throw themselves.

Or something like that.

Lesson 1: Have a clear picture of where I'm going.

Second, I noticed a specific difference between how my life occurs now as opposed to how it occurred on the honeymoon and just prior to the wedding. Specifically, I wasn't doing anything on the honeymoon or just prior to the wedding except for being on the honeymoon and planning the wedding. For the most part, those were the things I was working on. No big distractions. And it was fantastic. I was happy and in love and really enjoying my life.

Now, there are lots of distractions. And that experience I had before isn't quite as consistent. What I realized is that previously I wasn't so much being "on the honeymoon" or "planning the wedding," as much as I was being present and living the life I'm in.

Distractions, per their name, can put me in my head and take me away from what's happening around me. But the experience of the time on the honeymoon and prior to the wedding is something valuable to me, that I don't want to lose.

Lesson 2: Don't use my many interests to take me out of my life, but to further bring me into it. LIVE what I'm doing. AND make an effort to be in my life as it is. Very zen, but an easier talk to talk, than walk to walk.

Momentum begins

2006-01-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well, apparently the as yet unnamed 2 year plan (Possibly "Wiz or Get off the pot!" -Swinger) is already working. It started with Caro mentioning putting something together at her gallery.

SIDE NOTE: One of her ideas is to have 52 people dressed as playing cards, running around the lot across the street, then to have a random passerby name a card, and then prove (somehow) I knew the passerby would pick that card/person. (I love the way artists think)

Now the 2 year plan (Possibly "Do or Die!" -Lazlo) has accelerated with a possible gig with the Baha'i. Specifically I may be doing an end of the year (Baha'i year) party in February. What's more is that the person who approached me asked my what I "usually charge for a 40 minute show." I spit out a number somewhere between what the big guys make and zero, but far enough from zero that I was nervous saying it out loud. It was a bit of a bluff. (I was already bluffing in the sense that I didn't dispute her use of the word "ususally" to describe the frequency of my stage performances.)

And she didn't flinch at the price!

Now, she immediately followed by asking if I was negotiable, BUT she thought that my asking price was reasonable.

Now I just have to get my act together.

So to speak...

New direction

2006-01-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

We've had quite an intense direction change of late, Lunas and I, in the world of domicile. What that means is that Chivas and Lunas visited the NEW condo in the middle of construction. As was my experience when viewing it with mis padres, they thought it was a bit small. I did a little rough math and discovered, much to our surprise, that it IS in fact smaller than our current place. Combine that with NOT WANTING TO MOVE AGAIN, it's not as nice a place, it's overpriced and we just want to friggin' unpack, and you get two very happily not moving newlyweds.

Part of that decision also involved a comment by my wife, who said that it was silly to spend a big chunk of the free time I'm going to have during the 2 year "Make It Or Break It" period I'm pursuing magic as a career on a part time job.

Bottom line is, the starter gun has gone off, and I am officially, curtains parting, ribbon being cut with a giant, oversized pair of scissors...

...pursuing work as a professional magician!

(INSERT FANFARE)

And I immediately got anxious, concerned, worried and resigned about the whole thing. (My previous blog is a good example.) But, and this is where the title of the blog actually comes into play, I'm going to use my blog to share what that process involves, includes, etc. I figure, what's predictable is I'll just stew in my own crap about the whole thing. So instead, I'll deal with it, share about it, talk about the highs and lows, all of which I am certain will give me a much better chance of success.

So there you go.

All of this went down on Sunday, 2 days ago, and I already have much to blog about, which I will.
Just not now. : )

PS I want to come up with an inspiring, entertaining, lighthearted name for this 2 year period, OTHER than "Make It Or Break It," and I'm taking suggestions...

Look who's back...

2005-12-29T10:34:00.000-08:00

Well, we're back in the states and it's delightful. To be back. As Lunas mentioned in her blog, there's been a bit to deal with. And continues to need to be dealt with. Her granuloma, for one thing, is going to be cut off next week rather than this week. And of course, the day after the surgery is supposed to be cut off, something dramatic happens with it. (I'll leave her to blog about it.)

But the visit with my parents was delightful. We couldn't have been happier to have them come visit. We had Christmas dinner at ICC's house, then returned to our lovely, and much cleaner than it used to be, abode. One of the highlights was dinner on Monday, just before they left. Lunas and I found ourselves telling the story of how we met. The conversation became about relationships, love, what works and how much we care about each other. It meant a lot to me to have my parents hear that from us. One of those unplanned conversations that you just treasure.

And I start back with the Baha'i on Monday. I'm excited, but a bit confronted, as part of them hiring me is my agreeing to stay there for 2 years. I was fine about that for a couple of days and even got excited about it. I started to relate to it simply as something I do from 8 to 5, nothing more and nothing less. As someone who is typically dissatisfied with their current professional lot in life, I found myself quite unusually at peace with my place in the job market. I thought to myself, "This is what it must be like for people who are content to simply bring home a paycheck, nothing more and nothing less." I realized how much stress I carry around worrying about that sort of thing and what it would be like to just show up, do my job and go home. I began imagining how great it would be to have the rest of the time in my life to just use up, being with Megan, spending time with friends, working on magic, etc., without having any concern about if I was going in the "right" direction.

That lasted for all of a day. : )

Then I thought of how much I could be making in the "corporate" world, or if I got a teaching degree and went into math as a male teacher, or if I got a degree in computer programming.

I forgot to mention, part of the plan now that we've returned home, is to actively and intentionally develop my career (currently non-existent) as a magician. I decided during the honeymoon that this is the one I'd choose (over teaching and computer programming), because it's the thing I love. I love kids and fell in love with the one computer programming class I took(?), but magic is the thing that I always turn to, always return to.

And I'm dealing with feeling like I should be more of a provider with Lunas. The Bahai don't pay as much as I'd make elsewhere and I've got a bit of the old-fashioned in me, combined with a bit of ego. For better or worse, it just doesn't feel right to not contribute more to our household. (It doesn't help that I still have credit card debt from before the wedding that I insist on paying off myself, so I'm looking for a part time job since the Baha'i don't pay enough to pay off the credit card at the pace I'm committed to.)

And you know magic, in time, could absolutely make up for the income I don't have with the Baha'i. But there's the rub. Magic, unlike teaching or programming, is an absolutely self-generating proposition. While I know the steps to take, there's no required classes or homework to get from A to B. And I'm not historically the best at self-generating.

So the thought is, work at the Baha'i for the 2 years and in that time, work my ass off to establish a career for myself as a magician. If it goes well, I'll be primed to go full time magic. If not, I can then choose teaching or computers.

But then the voice in my head starts in about whether I should bother. I haven't really done what it takes up until now. Why should this time be any different? Shouldn't I just do what I know will work. Get into a program that outlines the process for me, follow it from beginning to end, make a good living doing whichever one it is and then have magic be a hobby, but all starting now, rather than wasting another 2 years of my life complaining, wishing it were different and not doing what I know to do. And it wouldn't be too bad. I'd still have magic AND I'd have security.

But I wouldn't have really tried to do what I've always dreamed of doing...

Or do I think it's my dream just because I read a lot of magic books...

But there isn't really a right choice; it's just choosing one.

But which one...

That's almost an exact transcript of the interior monologue. Ad nauseum.

And I don't want to "talk about it" either, because that's what I've always done.

So, as my grandfather always used to say, it's, "Shit or get off the pot."

By the way, I'm open to suggestion on the part time job front...

I survived!

2005-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

So it was 134 meters, which while not the highest bungee jump in the world, is still plenty high enough. (As it turns out, there are higher, but you don't fall the entire height, which is to say, they use approximately the same length cord they used where I went.)

Here's why it's scarier than skydiving. Looking down from a plane, because you're so high up, it's unreal. Farms and such look like a patchwork quilt and the like. If you've flown in a plane and looked out the window, you know what I mean.

But bungee jumping at 134 meters... When you look down, it looks like a river and it looks scary. I'm not particularly afraid of heights, but I was terrified. I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean, what kind of moron jumps off of ANYTHING that's 134 meters in the air.

Apparently, this kind of moron.

I screamed the whole way down, bounced once, then again, pulled a cord to release my ankles (I was still attached at the waist via a body harness) and was pulled up rightside up.

It was worth every penny.

And I got the DVD. : ) To be screened upon return (along with our pictures. We're going on 600+ at this point, so we're planning on setting up an automatic slide show we'll play on the TV during a party at our new pad so y'all don't have to sit through a slide show from hell.)

See you soon!

Road update

2005-11-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

For those who check my blog, but not Megan's, here is a link to the latest road update:

http://zipyflavor.blogspot.com/

And that's just a taste. It's been an adventure.

Wedded Transformation

2005-10-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't found exactly the words I want to use to express what I experienced at Meg's and my wedding, but we're leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow and I want to share what I've experienced so far. Know that what you read is straight from my heart.

In leading up the wedding, I was most excited about the change. I had heard from numerous people how the ceremony fundamentally altered their relationship with their partner. That seemed obvious to me. In my world, these vows alter reality. They have to. Honestly, though, that was heresay, technically. For me, up until October 9th, marriage was a mystery, filled with the unknown, and something I've never done before, so I had no idea what the experience would be like, in reality.

So far, it's been subtle, thorough, peaceful, wonderful, eye opening, magical, expanding...

It actually started on the Friday before the wedding, much to my surprise, and continued through the weekend. Shifting, moving, sliding, rearranging. Molecules relocated. It's been fascinating and fantastic.

And the peace has been beautiful. What's interesting about it is that, while Meg and my interactions are mostly of the same style and manner, there has been a peacefulness for me in the background. Something is complete and whole. A finishing. But not an ending. It's wonderful.
The other thing to share is my experience of family, on a couple of levels. First, the obvious one: my literal family has probably quadrupled in size. With marriages and such, I now have 7 cousins instead of 2. I have 10 plus aunts and uncles instead of 4.

And now I have brothers and sisters. : )

I just hadn't thought about this part, but it's wonderful. And it's real in a very delicious way.

Real. That brings me to the other increase in family. Expressed in the love present. My family, our family, based on love, which includes both genes shared and not, was present in the most profound way I could ever have dreamed of this weekend. Multiple connections/friendships/partnerships/bonds all solidified into a reality I had not experienced prior to the wedding. I have NEVER felt so beloved, enfolded, cherished, upheld and honored. To whatever extent I had the experience of there being a Megan community and a Jamie community, separate from each other, it vanished. I was left whole, complete and loved. With nothing missing and nothing left wanting. I could have floated in that space forever.

It was perfect.

So not only was a whole new relationship forged between Megan and I, but it feels like a new relationship was formed with all of our loved ones as well. What's amazing about that is that in both instances, there was already a pre-existing relationship, one that was ALREADY wonderful and extraordinary. But in the crucible of the ceremony, of the weekend, something was fundamentally altered for me in relationship to every single person in attendance. All became simplified. Concerns about acceptance vanished. Friendships deepened. Frustrations and annoyances faded. Awkward or uncomfortable relationships became simple links between human beings out to celebrate all that is glorious and beautiful in love and marriage.

The people in my life are still the people in my life, just as they were before, but now love is the overriding variable and trumps anything else. It may sound cheesy, but it's true. And as I think about it, why wouldn't I want to have love be the context for the relationships in my life, even when I'm frustrated or sad?

It has been the single most extraordinary experience of my life.

Thank you all for that. And know I am speaking directly to you.

It was an absolute privilege to be at the heart of the community as we created what we created. My life is fundamentally different since my wedding, and I love it.

Countdown to the beginning

2005-09-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

Mile a minute. That's what it feels like. Meg has been going at this pace longer and harder than I, so I feel silly telling her how overwhelmed I get at moments. Same as, during the time she was only drinking water and organic chicken broth for four days, I didn't feel quite comfortable saying, "I'm hungry."

We continue to get response cards, which is great and sad. Some fabulous people are attending, including a few surprises (including a few from out of town), but there are also "declines with regret" that are a bit upsetting. Some of them are expected and some (more sadly) surprise me. I know people have lives and previous committments, all of which I understand. (Which is why I don't hold it against them.) But no amount of logic or justification makes a difference with the disappointment.

However, that ignores the good stuff and the great people that ARE attending the wedding. I mean, really, this is an extraordinary day coming upon Meg and I. We are celebrating with our friends and loved ones the declaration and creation of a partnership and relationship for all time. That whole concept THRILLS me. To be with a woman I trust, love, cherish and admire as we live out our already extraordinary lives. Words can't express.

As a side note, I had a recent cool experience in the world of creativity. I've been working on the presents I'm getting the groomsmen and best woman. I gave it a LOT of thought and each one is inspired by the person and my relationship to them. I'm very excited about what I came up with.

The whole process reminded me of how creativity works in my head. (What with my ADD and all : ) ) When I try to work on coming up with an idea, I almost immediately get distracted. But if I force myself (this weekend I did it while sunbathing. Hey, we're going to Tahiti! It's wedding preparation!) I am surprised by what I come up with. It's a matter of pushing through the resistance and the first few predictable ideas. Once I get beyond there, really good stuff comes. The first time I discovered this was when I was in charge of the spiritual services at my summer camp for the summer. The director told me to go sit in a gazebo for 2 hours and do nothing but come up with ideas.

I pretty much planned the whole summer that afternoon.

ADD and drinking (not what you think)

2005-08-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

I've been putting off writing because I thought it would take a long time to write the rest of the Vegas stories and in the meantime, life keeps moving around me.

Not a new scenario for the Eagle.

So here's the remainder of Vegas:

Stole a souvenir doorknob, stayed in the sphincter of the Imperial Palace hotel, learned David Copperfield is a perv, was in a reality TV show, was morbidly scared by George Carlin

OK, done with that.

It's just over a month to the wedding. Spent 3 hours at Michael's buying wedding decorations. I came up with the centerpiece idea, which makes me proud. Which also means we have 14 large glass objects to maneuver and transport without breaking.

And I'm thinking I may have ADD. (Wow, in rereading that, that's a HELLUVA warp 5 subject change; sorry about that. Talk about your ADD) Meg is hoping it's not Early Onset Alzheimer's. As am I. A friend I saw at another friend's wedding takes ADD medication and has similar symptoms. Now, I've always been a complainer about children being diagnosed with ADD because, I would assert, many parents use the drug as an alternative to actually parenting. My (and many other's) opinion.

So somewhat hypocritically I'm looking at my symptoms and wondering if it wouldn't help. Essentially, I don't pay attention. My mind wanders, quickly. Meg will tell me something, several times, and each time I don't remember, even several seconds later. I try to think about something and it takes a great deal of effort, because I just start thinking about other things. Just now I had the thought that the reason I leave out key parts of stories is because I'm not even paying attention to myself as I'm speaking.

I'm not ruling out self-discipline, concentration, being present, developing good habits, writing things down, etc. But if it makes a difference, that'd be great. I have this idea that I could possibly experience a whole different way of thinking, though that could be a bit dramatic. (Jamie dramatic?) If it doesn't do anything for me, I'll drop it.

Found out, though, that the medication is frequently similar if not the same as many anti-depressants. Interesting. Haven't decided how I feel about that.

As long as I don't have Alzheimer's. My grandmother does. Not early onset, but nevertheless.

Second topic...

I don't know if all y'all know, but I had stopped drinking alcohol for over a year and a half, because I had anger issues. I actually scared Megan on more than one occasion, which wasn't acceptable, so I decided to stop drinking until I was not concerned about getting angry again. And I drank for the first time at the bachelor party. That it didn't occur to me to list as one of the Vegas stories is, I say, a good sign. It was uneventful, to say the least. I drank again at my friend's wedding, and again it was uneventful.

One of the biggest things for me was realizing that I would always have to worry about it. I had thought that eventually there would be a time when I wouldn't have to question my drinking. I would get over whatever it was that I needed to get over, then I would be "safe." Then it hit me one day in a conversation that I would always have to be responsible for my drinking. Every time I drink I will have to be responsible for what I'm doing.

That did it. I pretty much knew in that moment I could drink responsibly, without getting angry.

It was actually that simple.

Now, I did do a lot of work with my anger (I would get angry when drunk because I never let myself get angry when sober.) And the need/drive for stimulus from the alcohol (include "other stimulants" in this sentence) has also diminished greatly.

(As a side note, I imbibed something else, which I hadn't done in over a year as well, and discovered with the distance of time that I don't like how stupid and cloudy I get the entire next day. Does a number on the desire to imbibe, for sure.)

So now I drink and imbibe (sort of). But not in the same way. The desire is just gone.

Back to ADD, Meg just started talking to me while I was blogging, I said, "Yeah," and didn't hear a damn thing she said. Annoyed her to no end. Then I couldn't remember something I definitely should know. And got a little scared.

I know I'm being dramatic, but I'm just being honest.

Hello, my mind. Aren't you just full of surprises. Never know what you're going to do/come up with next.

What happens in Vegas, gets blogged about

2005-08-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

Many have shared, but for posterity's sake, a few more anecdotes from Vegas...

First off, it was a GREAT bachelor's party. In fact, it was perfect. In talking with the Best Woman about how the weekend should go, while I didn't want strippers or lap dancers, I did want beautiful women to flirt with me. I just knew I would enjoy it more. Now, I had no idea how one would PLAN to have beautiful women flirt with one, but I figured I'd just put it out there. It couldn't hurt.

Turns out they have them for hire.

They're called hostesses. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

You know, the folks who manage clubs and take care of the big spenders. Hostesses. And we had a fantastic one named Nicole.

It's the ultimate way to do Vegas.

What happened was on Saturday we got dressed up and went downstairs where, get this, not a limo, but a party BUS was waiting. Not full size, but still. A party bus. This thing wasn't a converted airport shuttle like most party buses (according to the driver), but a from-the-ground-up design. Ferrari leather seats, ice chests, stripper pole (sans stripper), $20K sound system; the whole 9 yards. AMAZING. This isn't the one I had, but it gives you a sense.

One of the highlights of the party bus part of the adventure was when, while at a stoplight, the driver yelled, "Bachelor, come!" I came to the front and he told me that, for some reason, he had a bra his daughter needed (At home he has a wife, 4 daughters and 2 dogs, both female; I figured, sure, it's possible he's got a bra for his daughter here with him on the Party Bus.) He told me I was to give it to her. Using my mouth. I automatically reached for it with my hand and he yelled "With your mouth!" in the style of every movie drill seargeant you've ever seen. So, I grabbed said bra in said mouth, got out, mumbled a greeting to the ladies in the car the next lane over (yep, in the middle of traffic), where I handed (OK, mouthed) the bra to a lovely blonde in the passenger's seat. Mouth to mouth, with bra between. My kind of CPR.

So I got back in the bus and remarked to the driver that he seemed quite, um, laid back for a father, to which he replied. "Nah, that wasn't my daughter. That was the stripper who danced in the bus last night. That was her bra she left on the floor."

Apparently the Eagle will believe anything.

I even believed our lovely waitress who claimed it was her birthday, was saving up for a video camera and promised to meet us after her shift so we could buy her drinks. (I thought it fit in perfectly with the "have cute girls flirt with me" plan) Of course, she didn't show up. However, while she was working, she did bring us shots, to the blackjack table, for free. Which is something I've NEVER seen before in Vegas. Which is cool.

I do have a few more Vegas bits, but I'll spread them out over the next few days...

Where the &*%^$ have you been!

2005-08-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

My, it's been a long time. I don't know if my readership (Hello, Mr.Ego), well, really, if my readership still stops by to read, but we'll presume there are folks who still check for updates, if only out of stubborn hope that I'll blog again. (Hi, Megan!)

As any who follow Lunas' blog, there have been a number of craziness inducing variables showing up in our lives, specifically her health. As such, our whirlwind worldwide tour is a bit up in the air. It's been interesting because we've constantly had to reevaluate priorities and what we're up to, both in our relationship and in our lives.

Being in the condo, being able to relax, enjoy and treasure our first days and months of marriage, pursuing the interests I've claimed to have, but that no one has seen evidence of; these are all opportunities I'm excited about.

But it's a bit confronting. One of the things I've been dealing with, coming up on getting married, is facing up to some of the grandiose visions I've had in my life, that I've not yet fulfilled on. Being a professional magician, writing comedy, doing improv again, practicing aikido; I have a monstrous, overwhelming, dominating picture of how these things in my life SHOULD look, but don't.

I SHOULD have an hour long comedy magic show with a regular restaurant walk-around gig that steadily feeds me show leads that hire me. I SHOULD have a black belt in aikido and be teaching students. I SHOULD have LOADS more comedy material. I SHOULD have completed the curriculum at both Second City and Improvolympic.

I should have a clean apartment. I should have cleaned up my past 2 email accounts, and my old computer. I should be in regular communication with friends near and far.

SHOULD: be a better fiance, be a more financially secure adult, be more experienced and better paid as an employee.

I didn't realize until recently the extent to which I cower in front of my shoulds, shut down and just watch TV.

Thankfully, I realized something quite fabulous in a conversation with my best woman, Chris. I realized I might not be up to these visions. I might not be interested in the work it takes to do all these things, or even one of these things, to the extent my vision describes.

Not like a giving up or surrender, but like a possibility. Instead of struggling under the yoke of these ideas, feeling guilty about the lack of effort I'm putting in, I could actually just participate in my life, at exactly the level I'm at, dealing with what's right in front of me. That could unfold into a match for the vision. Or not. But it would be what I want to do.

Which is a novel thought for me. What I want to do. I started asking myself that recently. And instead of answering out of habit, I actually looked to see what that might be.

It's quite nice. And some of the answers have been surprising, while others are as they have been. But I know they are honest answers, which is a change of pace.

The best part is the enthusiasm and excitement I'm feeling about getting married. It feels like I'm getting married now, not in 2 months. It feels real and like it's happening now. (Which, of course, it is.)

Which brings me to the last thing I'm excited about (I also had a vision of what the wedding should look like, but isn't shaping up to be, which totally traumatized me):

I'm thrilled to be getting married.

I so love Megan. With all of our variables changing and moving, I'm just so happy to have her in my life. To kiss her hello when I get home from work. To watch her fall asleep on the couch. To play and to plan and to be with. I've never had someone who was, in my world, "by my side." Not like I've been a melancholy loner, pining away. Much. ; ) But to just know, in your gut, you've got a partner. They're it and that's how it should be.

Ahhhhh. . .I feel much better now.

Let's build a barn! I gots the wood and Billy has the paint!

2005-07-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

I don't know if the title communicates, but it's a reference to a classic scene from a Mickey Rooney flick (I don't remember which one) when the community gets inspired to build a barn and suddenly there's no stopping them; the resources they need are all in various people's backyards, and, come hell or high water, there's a BARN gonna be raised!

That's Cianfrani, to a T.

Thanks to Michael for putting on the benefit, for taking on anything he gets his mind set on, and for having one of those things he takes on (OK, many of those things) be about making an actual, appreciable difference in the world.

And kudos to the performers, the location and those who donated. Thanks for being willing, without question or hesitation, to just come play and contribute.

Last night reminded me that, in reality, most things that people want to take on, but don't, because it appears too arduous/difficult/impossible/time consuming, aren't in actuality arduous/difficult/impossible/time consuming at all. We just talk ourselves out of things because, well, that's what we do.

And we do it more than we realize. We constantly talk ourselves out of doing things.

We talk ourselves out of big dreams and little ones, out of taking care of ourselves and being uncomfortable. We convince ourselves it doesn't matter and that, really, it's fine the way it is.

And it is fine the way it is. It really is. It's just useful to remember that what we tell ourselves when we're "talking out of" isn't the truth. WAY more is possible than we can even imagine.

Not that we have to follow every dream, or push ourselves 24/7. I just think it's good to keep in mind that all the crap we feed ourselves, in order to be safe and comfortable, is still crap. Not what decisions should be made on. If I want to do something, I should do it. If not, don't. Wisdom as old as Yoda.

Sorry to rant. It just sort of fell out of my fingers.

I tell you one thing, though.

We built ourselves a barn.

The smell of yesteryear

2005-07-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

I just used a manual pencil sharpener for the first time in a LONG time. Brought back some serious memories. I remembered the importance of technique to insure a fine point (lighten up on the pressure towards the end of the sharpening). And I remembered the SMELL. Wow. I forgot the clear, pungent aroma of a sharpened pencil.

Almost as sweet as reminiscing about buying school supplies at the beginning of the school year.

And yes, behold the technology of where I work.

Tonight is your night, bro!

2005-07-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

I think the title speaks to a number of folks this evening, for several different reasons and in several different contexts. Right off the bat, it speaks to me, as I'm a bit nervous, not having performed as "The Magician" for several years, never having performed in Chicago, and could use the encouragement.

But more importantly, it speaks to our community of friends. There is a close knit-ness amongst the crew that I, as a latecomer, know is distinct from other groups of friends (though "Friends" is similar). It comes from an interest in supporting each other. I mean, how many communities are there where one friend starts a non-profit organization that then puts on a benefit for another friend, where several other friends perform, for free, at the benefit. It's not like it's giving up a kidney or anything, but it's indicative of something. A testament to something. Something I appreciate about my friends here in Chicago.

It really is our night. Bro.

(And tonight, remember to ask to see me do "something new.")

I'll see you there.

P.S. Without looking it up on the web, anyone know where the title of this blog came from?

Up and out

2005-07-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

Life appears to be an annoying blur as of late, one that I'm resisting quite a bit of the time. I was reminded of this last night as I was listening to a friend of mine speak about being in love with his life. I thought, "Now that's a damn fine idea. I should do that!" And I, again, felt guilty about not appreciating what an extraordinary life I have. I mean, look, I'm marrying this amazing, extraordinary, fabulous, surprising woman, who wants to actually marry ME. For our honeymoon we are taking a YEAR long trip AROUND THE WORLD. And to top if off we're buying an amazing condo, pre-construction, that we got to pick aspects of; that's right, it's a customized home. That's COOL.

Mostly, I think, life is a blur because I'm not paying attention. I'm looking in and down at the minutia of what there is to do and handle, rather than up and out at the swirl of life around me. It reminds me of the moment in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, when the student breaks through writer's block only after trying to write about, not her home town, not the main street, not city hall, not even the facade of the building, but a single brick in one corner of one wall.

And there's lots to notice, if I just open my eyes. Step outside and look around. Get out of the damn house. I had a reminder of this last Friday night.

We were hanging out with a coworker of mine who happens to be a magician. This, in and of itself, thrills me to no end. Another magic geek to bond with. In any case, we were in the square at 10ish PM, after the guitar guy with his tip jar had stopped playing, but hadn't cleaned up his stuff yet. He's still there, though, with family and kids, relaxing off to the side.

There are two little girls in the group, one maybe 5, the other 8 or 9, and they are playing with the microphone, which is live. The microphone is taller than the 5 year old, so she has to stand on tip toes to speak into it, angling it down and cupping it in her tiny hands. For some time they take turns singing a word or two of songs before running off and giggling, but then the 5 year old drums up the courage to sing.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Brilliant. The crowd went wild.

So she sung it again. And for the encore, sang the Alphabet Song. (You know, "A,B,C,D...")

Then, and this is the crystallized moment in time, she, in the tradition of generations of lounge singers, says, "Is it anybody's birthday?" To which my friend, David the magician, and praise and bless his heart for doing so, says, "I have a birthday." And the little girl takes this in, and pauses. And he adds, "And my name is David. That might be useful to know for the song."

And she sings "Happy Birthday." Beautifully. Including David's name. Then she goes:

"Anyone else have a birthday?"

A moment in time. Thank god we left the house.

Ah, there it is...

2005-07-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Here's what I just (re)learned. If you find yourself overspending, or even potentially overspending, do an honest, complete budget. And then look at it. Part of the nature of a budget is that it will tell you exactly what you have (which is also what you don't have), what you will have as time goes by and what will be left at any point along the way. If it's done right, there's no mystery.

I miss the mystery.

But, hey, at least my spending has screeched to a halt.

Duh...

2005-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

I've got blogger's block. So I redecorated.

Lord help me, I even messed with the code.

You like what I've done with the place?

Again? Really?

2005-07-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

Something shifted. I'm irritated that people have not updated their blogs today. (I know, the hypocrisy in that last statement should crash my computer) Part of it is that my job is less than riveting, so my attention wanders. But really, I think I'm really starting to appreciate having the opportunity to listen to what goes on in people's heads.

I took a Landmark course once where we talked about how we as human beings access the eternal (could be God, beauty, nature, whatever), and intriguingly, how the eternal accesses us. One thing I got from the conversation was how moved I am by truth. I don't mean Truth, as in the answer (after all, we all know it's 42.) I mean truth as in what's really, truly there for people. In their hearts, unedited.

It's the real I'm talking about.

And blogs are real. At least the 4 that I read are.

Not that talking about the weather and movies is bad. And I don't think I'd want to talk and hear real, 24x7. But the way the world moves and time does it's flying thing and how with all my good intentions, I still watch too much TV and don't talk to people as much as I'd like, I'm grateful that I can still hear the hearts of those I love.

Excuse me, I've gotta go see if y'all updated your blogs yet.

Coming out of retirement

2005-07-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

So I'm performing magic publicly for the first time in about 4 years. At the Hilesh Patel Benefit. Essentially, it's a professional performance, just without getting paid. In that time I've not added a single new effect to my repertoire. I've practiced several new items for YEARS, and, of course, bought a number of books, videos and new tricks. I've even tried a couple of them, once or twice, for real people. But whenever I have the opportunity, at work or with friends, to perform, I do the same stuff, the stuff I've done for YEARS. The stuff that is fun, but frankly, on a certain level, bores me to tears. But I don't have anything new that I've worked through completely, that I've done all the work to make ready. I just practice for fun, but not with any intention of performing, for the public, with all the bugs worked out.

However. The time has come.

3 weeks to showtime and I'll be ready.

So when you see me at the benefit, doing my magic thang, be sure to ask for something new.

Help me break the habit.

How the Eagle can avoid ANYTHING

2005-03-30T21:33:00.000-08:00

You may think I'm going for the title of "Most Infrequently Updated Blog," but I am not. I simply have this reaction to most things (as I still work 62 hours a week; ah, what a gloriously useful excuse), which is:

It'll take too long.

But screw that. It's my blog and it's time to blog. ("Blog" seems like one of those universal words that can be used as a noun, adjective, verb, etc. Like "fuck" and "smurf.")

I've been thinking a lot about my fiancee's and my's plans for our honeymoon. And as I read and think about it, a particular phenomenon has been happening. As I imagine traveling and relive some of my earlier explorations, the remembered smell of those far off places has been coming back to me. Riding the "L" smells like the streets of Bangkok. Walking in Lincoln Square smells like the college I lived at in Seoul.

I think I'm having these experiences because I'm actually present in the moment, something I'm not terribly adept at being. In fact, one of my goals for the trip is to become facile at just being present in the moment, doing what I'm doing and being where I'm being. So when there is "nothing" to do, I won't pick up a book to distract myself. The flip side is that, instead of reading because I can't stand down time, when I'm reading, I'll actually be reading, not avoiding seemingly vacuous moments. THAT would be a breakthrough. And I can see what a profound difference it will make in my experience of my life. To be present in everything I do.

What's more, I could take on being present now, and not wait for the trip to have it be a priority.

(UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE)

Nah.

I'll wait for the trip.

Would you hand me my book?

The Eagle's Very First Blog

2005-03-22T21:54:00.000-08:00

Working 62 hours a week (though not for long) I don't have a great deal of free time, most of which I spend trying to relax and/or generate the energy to plan a wedding, a trip around the world, get a new job (to replace the one I love, but am not willing to do for 62 hours per 7 day period), spend time with my fiance, practice my magic, etc.

What's my point?

So the last thing I do (given I don't have an internet connection at work) is spend time surfin' the net, let along "blogging."

However, a few of my close friends, big fans of surfing the net and the like, have started blogging and, what the hell, I'm joining them.

Now, I promise (other than this blog) to only blog about that which I personally find interesting, thought provoking, humorous or the like. No grocery lists, random descriptions of my day (at least, not if they aren't entertaining), etc.

And really, the thing I find most interesting about the few blogs I've read so far is that you get to see inside the mind and heart of the blogger. Most of us, at best, seem only to "check in" with family and friends, without any idea of what's really going on for them at any given moment in time. This is not a new phenomenon, as everybody knows your neighbor doesn't REALLY want to hear your honest or complete answer to the question "How are you? But the opportunity of the blog, the exhibitionist's diary, as a shortcut to knowing people a bit more authentically, is one I appreciate.

I love hearing/reading people speak/write what's really there for them, in any given moment, whether related to momentus events or just the impression they got in an instant while stepping off the train.

Beats the hell out of the daily summary, anyway.